A modest proposal

Last week Cameron said that if Clegg gets in the Chinese will come and nuke our Tridentless ass.

The trouble with Trident is that it's very expensive. (It may also be immoral and make the world less secure, but let's put that to one side.)

If we really need a like-for-like replacement for Trident, I think we can do it. For pennies.

Just look here. It's still called Trident. It's secret anyway so no-one needs to see it. No-one needs to know that it's less intense. It doesn't matter that it can't flatten Shanghai in an instant. Nukes aren't for using, anyway, are they? That's what deterrence is all about, right?

Chinese General 1: Hey I'm bored, let's nuke those English bastards.
Chinese General 2: Yeahbut they've got Trident, innit?
Chinese General 1: OK let's nuke someone else then.

Sounds daft? Well, let's take it one step further.

Have you ever seen, with your own eyes, one of our Trident missiles? Know anyone who has?

No?

Let me put it this way. There is no budget deficit. We just pretend there is, so that the Chinese think we're spending billions on nukes, not pennies on chewing gum.

It's called Realpolitik, comrades.