Nick Clegg on PM with Eddie Mair

Mair asked several questions which I bet Clegg hadn't rehearsed for.

Including:

Q. How many zeros in a billion?

Q. When did you last cry?

Clegg answered the first one correctly.

 

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Lib-Con?

Reasons to read Matthew Parris in today's Times:

• He's always interesting
• He's often plausible

On the other hand:

• He's often wrong
• He writes for Murdoch

On balance, I'd give it a read.

Not pretty

Have you seen this picture? You should.

"You're offering slogans, not solutions," it says at the top of Brown's crib-sheet.

And then:

"Oh boy, the Iranians are going to love you, Nick"

"You can phone a friend, you can ask the audience, or you can go 50:50 with Nick"

Sometimes Brown really sickens me.

Other times, I just think he's a nasty thug.

A modest proposal

Last week Cameron said that if Clegg gets in the Chinese will come and nuke our Tridentless ass.

The trouble with Trident is that it's very expensive. (It may also be immoral and make the world less secure, but let's put that to one side.)

If we really need a like-for-like replacement for Trident, I think we can do it. For pennies.

Just look here. It's still called Trident. It's secret anyway so no-one needs to see it. No-one needs to know that it's less intense. It doesn't matter that it can't flatten Shanghai in an instant. Nukes aren't for using, anyway, are they? That's what deterrence is all about, right?

Chinese General 1: Hey I'm bored, let's nuke those English bastards.
Chinese General 2: Yeahbut they've got Trident, innit?
Chinese General 1: OK let's nuke someone else then.

Sounds daft? Well, let's take it one step further.

Have you ever seen, with your own eyes, one of our Trident missiles? Know anyone who has?

No?

Let me put it this way. There is no budget deficit. We just pretend there is, so that the Chinese think we're spending billions on nukes, not pennies on chewing gum.

It's called Realpolitik, comrades.

"Nick, you're a risk to our security"

And so it came to pass.

As I predicted yesterday, Brown didn't play Mr Nice Guy with Nick Clegg.

"Nick, you're a risk to our security," said Brown. That's pretty rude. Absurd, too, but it might resonate with some.

The really interesting thing is the contrast between Brown's attack on Clegg, and Mandelson's impassioned defence of Clegg.

Keep watching for Mandelson's post-election coup. It's coming, and Brown knows it. And he's not going to go quietly.

Mandelson's charm offensive: a disguised dagger in Brown's back?

Will Brown follow Mandelson's lead and try to take the heat off Clegg tonight?

Mandelson's line at lunchtime was basically: Nick Clegg is as infallible as the Pope, or perhaps a little more so.  Anything else is just Tory smears.

Why is Mandelson quite so keen to shield Clegg?

Theory 1 says that Mandelson wants to puff up the Libdem vote simply so Labour can do its arithmetic trick: 3rd place in the share of the vote, first place in terms of seats. Labour stay in power, propped up by 100 Lib Dem MPs.

Theory 2, though, says that Mandelson reckons Clegg will never agree to support a Brown-led Labour minority government. But by buttering up Clegg now, Mandelson is preparing the ground for his own post-election coup:

Here's how it works:

• The election produces a hung parliament, with Labour the largest party in terms of seats.
• Clegg says no to a deal with Brown.
• Brown resigns as PM.
• Clegg lets it be known that a deal with a Mandelson-led Labour government would be acceptable.

Couple of problems:

• Mandelson doesn't have a seat in the Commons. He'd find a way around that. An immediate second election would find him a seat, and the Lib-Lab coalition would romp home.
• Labour MPs wouldn't like a Mandelson + Clegg stitch-up very much. But if that was the price for keeping the Tories out of power, perhaps forever - well, I think they could just about live with that, don't you?

Brown surely knows what Mandelson is up to. So how's he going to play Clegg tonight? 

Let's watch.

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